Stuart’s Week in Entertainment: April 16 – 22 (including The Adventures of Ted Mosby: Sociopath)

I’ve got a few things to report on this week

TV  – Neighbours

At one point, it seemed like everyone watched Neighbours. Admittedly, that point was almost 30 years ago, but still. the it’s a fact.

I’ve watched Neighbours ever since I was a child and I still watch it to this day. Around October last year I did just think ‘Oh I can’t be bothered’ because of the interminable storylines involving Kate Ramsay and her sickening do-goodery which barely conceals a deep level of smugness, but I recently decided to catch up from the start of this year’s new series of the show.

I like Neighbours; I find it a more pleasing soap opera than the depressing EastEnders , or Emmerdale with its three deaths a week (and don’t even mention good old fucking ‘Corrie’). And yet for whatever reason, everyone to a man or

In this picture you'll see the two greatest 'Credits' in any show, ever.
Bossy was simply played by 'Dog'. They couldn't even be bothered to ask the owners what it's name was.

woman who I mentioned it to looked at me with utter derision for watching it. I felt like a Doctor Who fan in the 90s.

Well I don’t care; I’ll keep watching Neighbours and its episodes that consist of quality plots like ‘Calum makes spaghetti’ and ‘Oh Lou Carpenter, you’ve got another money-making scam on the go’. It’s better than shoe-horning in storylines like a lovely Vicar who suddenly decides to become physically abusive towards his old and frail father, which is what I believe is going on in Emmerdale right now.

The most unrealistic thing in Neighbours is the fact that Toadie’s house has actually regenerated into a completely different set, with different room structures and layouts.

Oh, and as someone who owns a Z4, I did worry about Toadie buying one to make up for the fact that he’s having fertility issues…

I still hate Kate Ramsay though. Stupid smug cow.

Britain’s Got Singers And The Occasional Dancer

I used to love Britain’s Got Talent on the basis that it was a variety show. You know what variety means right? Well the producers of this show don’t. There is nothing but singers and the occasional tiresome dancing act on the show now. It seems that rather than being a talent show where the winner gets onto the Royal Variety Performance, it’s become another X Factor where the people in charge are purely interested in someone who can make them the most money (I know…shocking, eh?). But that invariably means a singer or a dancer.

And while I can understand that, it’s no good to me as a viewer. I can understand the appeal in people paying to watch someone sing, but dancing? God no. I’m sure people put their hearts and souls into it and I get that it apparently keeps these young scallywags ‘off the street’ and not murdering people etc but dancing is just one big waste of time as far as I’m concerned…especially street dancing. It might be fun for the people to do, but so is playing Stick Cricket on my Android phone, and nobody wants to pay to watch me do that.

But here’s the kicker about it. Why is it that whenever a non-singer or dancer comes and does something brilliant, they get told ‘You’ll have to do something different if you make it through the finals’? Why should they? That’s their talent! Nobody asks a singer to up their game by juggling or singing at a higher note than they are comfortable with.

So yeah, as much as I enjoyed the show, it’s really beginning to do my head in.

And what about that boy…well…I say boy but he was the older looking 16 year old I’ve ever seen. As you would expect he was a dancer – a ballroom dancer to be precise – and he had his own dancing partner (a 15 year old girl) whom he had auditioned and brought over from Cyprus to live in his house to practice with.

Does nobody else see something wrong with that situation?

Community

Last week’s episode of Community was a load of shite. And that’s very disappointing for me.

It’s difficult to even explain what was so bad about it but I’ll try…

Since the beginning of this season, Troy and Abed (who are portrayed a bit like kids with wild and vivid imaginations) have a room in their flat called ‘The Dreamatorium’ that has nothing in it, and thus allows them to enter a world of make-believe in their minds. That’s fine and I can accept that, but last week’s episode involved their other flatmate – Annie – asking Abed to show her how it works. So then it became like the room was really a virtual reality world or something, and that Abed had brought Annie into that world with him.

It took a show which is already on the edge of stupidity (in a good way) and went way beyond what was needed. Abed had gone from being a character to a caricature.

Hopefully the makers learn from this a bit, because if it continues down this road, then Community just won’t be that funny anymore.

The Adventures Ted Mosby : Sociopath

Speaking of shows that aren’t that funny anymore, what about How I Met Your Mother?

It’s not that it’s unfunny – it still makes me smile and I still tune in every week – but the laughs aren’t really there. Fair enough I suppose because it’s been going on forever. When a show has  had more than 13 times as many episodes as a

Ladies, I can't stress this enough; Stay Away From Ted Mosby!

sitcom like Fawlty Towers, it will begin to run out of steam eventually.

The big thing though is that I’ve gone back and started watching it again from the beginning, and the difference in humour levels is quite astounding. And they all look so much younger – especially Cobie Smulders who now looks old enough to be the mother of the Robin from Season One.

What I’ve noticed though, even as far back as the fourth episode of the show, is that the main character – Ted Mosby – is a sociopath. In that episode he – in his desperate bid to find a wife – starts going out again with a girl he dumped on her birthday three years earlier. The girl makes it very clear that he broke her heart by doing that but he begs her to give him another shot. Then, having gone out with her for three weeks, he decides he needs to dump her again.

So he takes her out to dinner to dump her, only to find that it’s her birthday again, and that she’s been keeping it quiet because of what he did to her last time (he dumped her by answer-message during her surprise birthday party).

And yet, despite finding this out, he decides to dump her anyway there and then because he thinks it’s for the best.

No! Just no!

How can anyone other than a sociopath not come to the conclusion that the best thing to do is to wait until after her birthday is over with? And yet he couldn’t see what was wrong with his actions.

And this is just the fourth of 158 episodes.

How I Met Your Mother should be renamed The Adventures of Ted Mosby: Sociopath.

Music – The Stupidity of Some Musicians in 2012

It’s not often I discuss music on Stuart Reviews Stuff, but it’s time for a bit of a rant.

I was playing a game the other day that has a song in it that I like. Not just me either, all my friends who play the game like it too and sing along to it (comedicly I might add).

On the face of it, you would think the band who made the song allowed it to be used in the game so that they could raise their own profile, and so that anyone who listened to it and enjoyed it would buy that song and maybe even buy others – i.e. they had a decent business plan.

And yet while the band has made some of their songs available to download for free, the song in question is not among them. Again, you might think ‘Ok, but that’s because they want you to buy it’. But no, that song isn’t even available to buy. The only place you can listen to it is on MySpace, and that is on a streaming-only basis.

I even tweeted the band to ask them if it was available to buy anywhere and was ignored.

So what happened? I had to pay $4 for a program that would allow me to download that song from MySpace. That is money that could have gone to the band, but because I really wanted it and it wasn’t available for love nor money, someone else got my cash.

Terrible business practice from the band.

And actually, by writing this, it’s got me thinking of another classic example of the same thing, and it ties in with my earlier comments about Britain’s Got Talent. A few years ago there was a finalist who was my favourite ever act on the show – a saxophonist called Julian Smith.

In the final of a show watched up and down the country by millions of people he performed ‘Somewhere’ from West Side Story on his sax, and it was beautifully done. Like many people, I thought ‘I would go and buy that song’. And yet three years later and long since 99% of the people who watched that night have forgotten about him, it still isn’t available to download or buy online.

It’s 2012 – people don’t want to buy CDs, nor do they want to buy tracks that they don’t know of. They want to go onto I-Tunes, Amazon or Spotify and get the song they like the sound of, and only that song. And they’ll pay a small fee for it too. Is it really that hard?

Talk about flushing opportunity down the toilet.

But some people simply never learn.

And those people simply don’t deserve your money.

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