A few times now I’ve noticed stuff that I should be including in these lists, but I’m not in a position to write them down and so just forget about them.
It’s particularly annoying because I thought of one last night that was an absolute doozy, but I’m damned if I can remember what it is right now.
Ah well, on with what is – unless I think of more in the future – the final selection of Things That Annoy Me In TV & Film…
The Way People Talk While Driving
I don’t know about you, but I consider myself a safe driver, and part of the reason for that is that I look at the road when I’m behind the wheel. That tends to be a fundamental aspect of driving without incident.
And yet you watch any TV show that involves a conversation taking place in a car, and you’ll see that whoever is behind the wheel will happily sit there with their head turned to look at the person in the
passenger seat for period of 10-20 seconds at a time.
Just try that and see how quickly you get into a car accident in real life.
Swimming In Your Clothes And/Or Not Drying Off Afterwards
Here’s another one.
How often in reality do people decide to go swimming in their own clothes at the drop of a hat (sometimes literally)?
You see it all the time. They either go into a pool/the sea fully clothed or with their underwear still on, and then in the next scene they are perfectly dry again.
Sure, this mostly happens in America, but America isn’t that hot
In reality they’d either be done for the day because they are soaked through, or would be walking funny thanks to soaking wet underwear.
“That’s What I’ve Been Trying To Tell You”
So you’ve got Earth-shattering news to break. You’ve realised the solution to a major problem or you need to explain that you are aware of imminent danger.
- Demand the attention of the relevant people and explain what you need to say in as direct a manner as possible?
- Wait patiently until the person you want to speak to finishes their trivial conversation, possibly allowing them to go off in another direction completely?
- Allow the person you want to speak to to keep cutting you off rudely despite danger being imminent, and stand around twiddling your thumbs, happy in the knowledge that your chances of escaping almost certain death are increasing?
If you are normal, the answer is number 1. If you are a TV character, it’s 2 or 3.
For crying out loud, if it’s that important, say it.
For Christ’s Sake, Move!!!
If someone is pointing a gun or any other sort of weapon at you, you would either defend yourself or run for cover. Right?
Not on TV or Film.
In this medium, unimportant characters are happy to stand still and wait patiently for death. Yes, they’ll sometimes say “No…don’t do that. Aaaaaaaaaargh” before dying, but most of the time they are happy to quietly accept their fate.
The Discovery of Evil
When an evil character – say a murderer – is found out in a Movie or TV show, the person who makes the discovery is always totally unable to hide their feelings from that person. They make it very obvious that they know the truth.
Now I’ve never accidentally stumbled across a murderer before, but if I did find out they’d done something wrong, I’d do my level best to act as normally as possible around them before getting out of dodge and informing the authorities.
But that’s ok, because what happens most of the time in shows is either
- The evil person is either in the next room and is about to try to kill that person anyway, purely by coincidence
- The evil person is on his or her way to kill a different character
And with option 2, it seems like the protagonist character doesn’t bother to do what most of us would do – phone the potential victim up to warn them.
No, they’d sooner jump in a car and make the long drive over to that person’s house to warn them that way.
That type of storytelling could have worked before mobile phones became a part of every day life now, but it doesn’t ring true (pardon the pun) nowadays.
To get round this, most writers decide to have the character not have their mobile phone on or anywhere near them. Because of course, if you’re sitting alone in your house watching TV you don’t have your mobile anywhere near you, do you.
If someone somehow manages to find out that another character is evil – say that they are a murderer or something like that – why is it they are unable to act normally around that person?