The Stuart Reviews Stuff Room 101 Part 3 – The Internet


For the next edition of my own personal Room 101 – digging back through topics I started on the East Football Room 101 forum – I’m going to focus on certain elements of The Internet & People’s Online Behaviour that bug me.

And we’ll start with…

Help Me Get 1,000,000 Likes So I Can…


It seems to be a trend these days that when some bloke wants to do something and – as is usually the case – their wife says no, he goes to Facebook to ask for a certain amount of ‘Likes’ in a bid to get her to change her mind.

The first one I saw was quite amusing. I think it was a bet between a couple that if he could get one million people to like his status he could call their child Skeletor. So you have a laugh and a chuckle knowing that it probably won’t amount to anything.

But now Facebook is flooded with them.

The most recent one was “I’m a Bradford City fan living in Australia and my wife will only let me go if I get one million likes”. 

Two things son…

  1. If your wife will allow you to go to the game for such a frivolous reason as getting a certain amount of likes on Facebook, there’s no good reason why you can’t go anyway.
  2. Grow a set of balls and go regardless. even if it annoys her. If you’re a Bradford fan, that was probably the only chance you’ll have in your lifetime to see them in a cup final.

It’s unoriginal attention seeking nonsense and people who do this sort of thing deserve to be keel-hauled.

People Who ‘Like’ Their Own Status Updates

Sticking with the ‘Like’ theme…

The ‘Like’ button on Facebook is for people to click on your status update if they like what you have to say. It’s not for you to click on your updates.

People don’t need to see that you approve of yourself, and you don’t need to tell them either.


95% Of You Won’t Repost This…

If you’re on Facebook, I’m sure you’ve had a status update come up with a bleeding hearts story about how someone’s cat fell down a well and that it’s such a terrible thing. And it’ll come with the addendum that 95% of the people who see this update won’t repost it, but the 5% who do will go on to live a happy and fulfilled life, safe in the knowledge that they are good people.

Well if you’re anything like me, that person who did share that on your friends list is now on block.

Yes, bad things happen in life, but we don’t need you sharing the grief of someone you’ve never met on our Facebook newsfeeds, just to show us what a good person you are.

But there’s all sorts of things like this that are designed to prey upon people’s insecurities about themselves.

Someone I know recently clicked like on a photo of a woman’s arse because it had the tagline “Click like if you’re not gay”.



The concept of Fraping has the potential to be amusing.

The problem is that most people aren’t funny, and so their frapes aren’t either.

I saw an update on a co-workers facebook wall that said “I love it up the arse” (although it was said in a cruder way). Now that’s not funny or original, it’s just embarrassing. If that girl had any family as Facebook friends they’ll have seen it and she no doubt would have been mortified and felt victim to cruel bullying rather than a supposedly funny joke.

Similarly, I know a bloke whose girlfriend would hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilariously frape him once or twice a day. And she wouldn’t even frape him with anything bad. It would just be stuff like “I love my girlfriend soooooo much. She’s the best” and then like clockwork he’d respond a few hours later with “Haha, fraped again lol”.

You don’t need to be a psychologist to see that she’s desperate for affection and petrified of him leaving her.

Quick love, you’d better get pregnant! That’ll keep him.

The Concept of First World Problems

In the eyes of some, people aren’t allowed to complain about anything these days because they are merely ‘First World Problems’.

If something bad has happened to you or if something has personally affected you, there’s always some humourless and pedantic twonk out there who seeks to trivialise it by reminding you that somewhere in the world, someone has it worse and that you have no right to complain.

And I think that is ridiculous.

Of course people have it worse than us; we know that. But we’re allowed to be annoyed about things that personally affect us without some blowhard trivialising the genuine problems in other parts of the world as a means of online point-scoring.

Misleading Thread Titles on Football Forums

Whenever a player is rumoured to be signing for a football club, or if a manager is on the verge of quitting or being sacked, internet football forums become awash with supposedly amusing thread titles designed to deliberately mislead others.

So for example, when Peter Houston was rumoured to be leaving Dundee United, some jolly japester would start a thread called

“Houston off…”

Some people would then open it thinking “Is this the news of him finally leaving” only to find the thread contained the line

“…home for the day after training” or something to that effect.

The very first time it happened, that was probably funny, but the joke has been done by so many people so many times that it’s not only not amusing, but it’s not even remotely convincing any more.

Next Time…

In future editions of Stuart’s Room 101 we’ll deal with Football, People and Behaviour.

Agree of Disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with any of the stuff written here? Leave a comment and let me know.


One Response to The Stuart Reviews Stuff Room 101 Part 3 – The Internet

  1. […] Stuart Reviews Stuff Room 101 – Part One Stuart Reviews Stuff Room 101 – Part Two Stuart Reviews Stuff Room 101 – Part Three […]

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