Movies – Jurassic World Review (or “They’ll Never Learn, Will They?”)


When I saw the trailer for Jurassic World, I was concerned that it gave away too much of the plot. Sadly that’s what trailers do these days; they just put all the good bits out in front to get you to go along and leave nothing for the paying customers once they are in.

Thankfully, having seen it today, I found that wasn’t the case. Much of the stuff in the trailer actually happens early on and doesn’t ruin the flow of the film at all.


But that relief aside, was it any good? (There will be spoilers)

Movies – Jurassic World Review: What’s It About?

Evidently learning nothing from the three previous occasions dinosaurs were involved in incidents where many human lives were lost, a dinosaur-based theme park once again falls out of human control because of a lack of planning and foresight. Many lives were lost.

Also, a handsome man and a hot woman initially have a dislike for each other, but end up having sex after the final credits roll.jurassicwold

And children are once again shown to be the noblest and most resourceful of us all.

Oh yeah, and the Hulk Hogan or the dinosaur world, the Tyrannosaurus Rex ends up going fucking over, brother!

Movies – Jurassic World Review: Who’s In It?

Former fat sitcom goofball turned Hollywood leading man Chris Pratt stars, assisted by Bryce Dallas Howard and irritating children Ty Simpkins and Nick ‘Not The Guy Off The BBC’ Robinson.

Movies – Jurassic World Review: How Highly Is It Rated?

It gets mixed reviews, with some critics thinking it’s the best thing since sliced bread, while others have panned it. Kings of Arbitrary Number Based Scores – IGN – have somehow worked out that it deserves a very specific 8.3.

My Thoughts

I think it’s fair to say that Jurassic World goes as you would expect it to.

The set-up is excellent, with the different plot strands being well explained, the characters seeming full-blooded and the tension building up well. On top of that, the environment it’s set in looks fantastic, though I guess you couldn’t expect anything less in this day and age (although I would say that the fight between the hybrid and the T-Rex is a let-down because not enough was done to distinguish between the two, so you didn’t know who was winning).

But once the proverbial dominoes of the plot were set up, the fell in a mundane and entirely predictable way.

What I mean by that is that once the hybrid killer dinosaur had escaped – and may I say that it did so in a nicely dramatic fashion – the movie just slipped into an unimaginative sequence of events that lacked originality and were riddled with Hollywood clichés.

For example…

  • Wave after wave of highly trained soldiers are massacred by this seemingly unstoppable monster, yet two annoying teenagers are able to outwit it time and time again.
  • Also, though the younger of the two broke down in tears at the prospect of his parent divorcing, he didn’t have the slightest emotional problem with coming so close to death on numerous occasions.
  • Despite being in a highly traumatic situation, the suspiciously young manager of the park and the ex-Navy hunter she’s stuck with (and had gone on one date with before the movie started) are able to devote time to wise-cracking and heavily flirting with each other after initially having nothing but contempt for one another. While people around them are being mauled to death by velociraptors, they take a moment to share a kiss.
  • Neither of those two suffer any injuries or even have a hair out of place. Indeed, the woman instead takes the opportunity to become more sultry as the movie progresses, exposing an increasing amount of cleavage and sweating almost exclusively around her chest to give it that extra glisten. She also never has to remove her ridiculous high heeled shoes in spite of the terrain and considerable amount of running she has to do.
  • With one exception, all the people presented as being nasty die.
  • All the good people survive.
  • Nobody thinks to shoot the dinosaur with a weapon strong enough to cause it any damage, at any point throughout the movie.
  • Ultimately a T-Rex – who, I might add seems to have turned into one of the good guys for unexplained reasons – jumps in to help out in the end.

So it’s daft and it doesn’t really hold up to critical analysis.

But really, you should know what you’re in for when you turn up to see the fourth instalment in a movie franchise like this, and I suppose on that score, it doesn’t disappoint.

Jurassic World is fun and though it’s ludicrous, it keeps your attention surprisingly well for a movie that lasts over two hours.

There are some nice nods to the past for fans of the series and there’s clearly the potential setup for further sequels in the future.

Overall, I enjoyed it, and assuming you aren’t looking for anything deep or genre-changing, you’ll enjoy it too.

Calls to Action

Remember to…

a) Like Stuart Reviews Stuff on Facebook or Twitter

b) Read about my books – focussing on reviews of Doctor Who from the very beginning – here

c) If you appreciate my sense of humour, go ‘Stuart’s Exciting Anecdote of the Day’ 



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